All it takes is confidence to do things in a big way. If you want to be a leader, if you want fame and fortune, you'd better learn what steps to take to get to the top of the mountain for success is not for everybody. You can be successful at whatever you do and still not be an industry leader or a top performer. Achieving notoriety requires something extra. The leader so thoroughly believes in themselves that followers do not question their veracity. Followers only have the space to agree or they will need to move out of a leader's way. There is a bit of the steamroller in every leader because the moment they entertain doubt, it is like leaving the front door open. When they are not looking an unknown can slip through unnoticed. It is dangerous to doubt oneself. That first bit of doubt is the open door for all manner of negativity to step in. Once inside, the mind will eat away at your confidence and resolve. When others say discouraging things, do not be dismayed by their lack of vision. It is your vision that matters, so ignore them. When you encounter pessimism, counter it with the reply: "That may be your opinion, but it is not mine." Someone else's pessimism is not your problem, so do not allow it to influence you.
But how, if you are not a naturally outgoing, enthusiastic, and confident character, do you get the public to see things your way? Not all salespersons are extroverts, but all successful people are salespersons. You see, "image management" is a term I favor because if you wish to develop a public persona or a brand that consumers are familiar with you must be the manager of your own image. Keep a finger on the pulse of your popularity. Pay attention and notice when awareness of your name and brand has risen, and when it declines. Not all venues will be the right showcase for your talents. Figure out which boosts your popularity, and what detracts from it. Pay attention to what your business competitors are doing to sell their brand, and do likewise. If it worked for them, it may work for you. Otherwise, you will waste time and resources on events that may be entertaining but are not advancing your agenda. Manage your image by tracking sales.
As far as your personality is concerned, there is a sure way to succeed in business with any personality; yes, any. You can be the most introverted person and still become popular if you have certain qualities, the most important of which are tenacity, and politeness. These can go a long way towards getting your foot in the door. You can either bowl them over with a big personality, or if you are quiet or a private person, rugged persistence and a dash of charm will get you where you need to go. I was not a salesperson by nature. When in a group I would sit and observe the characters all taking up space with their egos, each trying to outdo the next. I did not play that game. Not because I was not savvy and could not keep up, but because that was not my style. Instead, my facial expressions spoke for me. And what they said was a mouthful. My traditionally Mexican outfits and braided hair, my simple makeup, and the flowers that adorned me said, "I am proud of being who I am." Nobody disparaged Mexicans in my presence because they knew I would not stand for it. My unibrow, which was masculine, and my serious demeanor communicated that like a man, I was not anyone to fool with. How you present yourself to the public must be considered carefully as you will be judged in part by first impressions. Though I was not pushy, I was determined. If asking did not open the door, I would find another approach (a back door). I encountered many doors slammed in my face because I was a female artist. Women were wives, mothers, socialites, lovers, and, in the professional world, secretaries. But a woman who spent her time painting and traveling to art shows? Men considered us a waste of a good canvas. Like all things in the traditionally male art industry, women were art connoisseurs, but they left the stage to the men. Single women were busy finding a husband and settling down to domestic life and cocktail parties. I never fit into that mold. Being a wife suited me, but I was not content to stand in my husband's shadow (and he cast a big shadow because he had become famous). I wanted my own time in the sun. I wanted to be a household name apart from his. I did not want to be a tag-along. I was a proud Mexican who had been raised to fight for what I wanted. Therefore, when a door was not open to me, I did not take no. I would approach it from a different angle. Who did I know that could talk to the owner for me? How could I position my art so it would be more attractive? So, look at problems from many different angles but do not give up because you were rejected the first time, or even the second time. Keep knocking on different doors and the right one will open. And here is a secret about politeness that I learned: speak to the decision-makers as if they were your friends. Do not be overly professional, because then it is easier for them to turn you down. If you can find anything in common with them, bring it up. Make small talk to establish a personal connection. Have they traveled to where you want to go? Then ask their opinion about it. Discuss a trade subject they know about and can advise you on. Everyone loves to be asked to give their opinion, so let them educate you. In these small ways you are establishing a deeper connection than the others who are all business, and they will remember you as friendly. Be appreciative of thier time and always respectful.
You do not have to be a dynamo personality to become a household name; you have to be talented and genuine. What can be said of me is that I was always my truest self. I did not strive to fit in. I knew I stood out, and I preferred that because it meant I would be memorable. Being like everyone else is not going to distinguish you. Whatever it is that is unique and strange about you, accentuate that. Women with heavy eyebrows like mine plucked them until they were thin lines. I went against the grain and kept the masculine look. It was a stark contrast to the feminine clothes I wore. Therefore, I was a study in contrast. I presented both female and male, which appealed to both sexes. I also happened to be bisexual, so my appearance was neither here nor there. I was just Frida. Keep the public guessing. Be an enigma. Do not be so eager to fit in. Instead, stand out by refusing to compromise your identity. Some of the public will never appreciate your talents. But you are not an avocado that everyone is supposed to like. Find your niche. Who understands your message? That is your audience. To be all things to all people is to be a sell-out. Then you are only doing it for the money. Let people criticize you; they are not your target audience. Whatever is most unique about you, that is the talent you should exploit. Humans are drawn to the new, the cutting-edge, the strange, and the curious. If there is anything that distinguishes you, any feature that sets you apart, exploit this. Show the public how you are the only one offering this product or service and they will try it. Consumers are not so difficult to figure out. They have always been easily led like a bull with a ring in its nose, by curiosity. So, lead them right to whatever you are selling.
Also, if you are vulnerable, open, and unafraid to share your struggles and pain with an audience, they will relate. Do not look invincible unless that is what you are selling. If your product or service advises others, you will not want to showcase your vulnerabilities with the world. Instead, manage your image so they are attracted to your knowledge and strength. But in other industries and especially in art, vulnerability is a selling point. Show your audience what your journey of life has felt like to you. My journey felt like death as I was always near to it, and I felt that I was being chopped up into pieces and sold here and there. I felt at the mercy of my circumstances and that there were two Fridas—the public her and the real her, who was crying inside. I gathered up my feelings and allowed them to paint. The rest is history. What sorrow and pain does for you is to make you soft or hard. Invariably they will make you one or the other. You will soften towards others who are hurting, or you will harden your heart and not care about anyone but yourself. It molds you into a philanthropist, or a narcissist. The public can see a narcissist coming and avoids them. However, some people admire the narcissist's "strength," which is not what it seems but a carefully constructed deception. A soft and approachable person will attract those who need healing, which is pretty much everybody. To do things in a big way, you do not have to have a big ego. The smaller your ego is, the more relatable you will be.
I began by saying that the most important quality for doing things in a big way is confidence. For most people, being supremely confident is not second nature. Most people would not volunteer to lead; most would rather follow. To be a leader means that you have the qualities of a leader: confidence in one's decisions, the ability to communicate your vision, and the persuasion necessary to enlist others to join your group. Confidence, communication, and persuasion are key elements. However, there are good and bad leaders. Good leaders have goals that will benefit the majority. Bad leaders have goals that will benefit themselves. If the leader's agenda is hurting other groups, this is not positive leadership; it is a hoax. They pose as a good guy when their motivations are selfish and even unfair and cruel. If you want to know if someone is a good leader, ask yourself: do thier policies benefit the majority? If they do not they are no better than the devil who wears a mask.
Take it from me that fame is a very pleasurable thing. Fame and fortune are even better. But fortune is dispensed with quickly. Fame has its own price, however. Anonymity is comforting and safe, whereas fame and popularity pushes you into the spotlight where at times you would rather not be. This is because privacy is important to most people: your own space in which to be yourself and to be imperfectly you. Fame takes that from you. Suddenly you arent yourself; you are some thing. You are not Frida from Mexico. You are Frida the 'great painter' with the unibrow from Mexico. And suddenly, everyone wants a piece of you. If you can be pieced-out and still maintain your ideals, your sense of simply Frida, then fame won't move you. But most people suffer when they lose thier privacy. Their egos baloon so that thier loved ones hardly know them. If fame finds you, realize that adulation; the praise and worship is not for what you have done or who you are. Popluarity happens because the public needs someone to idolize and to look up to. They need someone to adore. Icons are necessary because the world is full of imitations and replicas. Genuine talent is hard to find. When it is found it seems like shining gold. You may have talent. You may even be extraordinarily talented. But remember that once the prublic has enjoyed your offering, their attention will wander to the next shiny object. Do not be so stupid as to think that you are so special that you cannot be thrown away. Anyone can be replaced-it will happen to you no matter how talented, how beautiful, or how magnetic you are. So, have your moment in the sun and then let it go. Otherwise you will suffer, chasing youth which is fleeting. You will get too old for the public to love you. You will look too wrinkled and heavy for them to call you beautiful, and will suffer when you see other less-talented fresh faces sucking up all of the limelight. Of the advise I gave today, perhaps this is the most crucial: have your moment in the sun. Then, let it go.
With Love,
Frida
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