Managing Anger: Questions to Understand Our Anger

QUESTIONS TO UNDERSTAND OUR ANGER: What specifically am I angry about-what circumstance? What factors contributed to this state of mind? What other feelings do I have?  Am I feeling rejected? Hurt?  Shocked?  Threatened?  Afraid of change or of losing something?  Feeling vulnerable?  Bewildered?  Guilty?  Insulted?  Harassed?  Manipulated? What did I originally expect in the situation? Did I check to see if my impressions are correct?  What is the proof? How else could this info. be interpreted? And how else? ·                            *Am I overreacting or blowing things out of proportion?                * Who am I really angry at? Myself? Others? Am I venting my anger at someone other than the true source of my frustration? Am I overlooking the good aspects of my relationship with this person? Is the event really less important than I first thought? Am I blaming someone for the anger I responded with? Did the person I am angry at intentionally hurt me? Could a cultural difference, such as: lifestyles, values, opinions, or upbringing play a part in this conflict? How do the other people involved in this situation probably feel?  ·                        *How else could they possibly feel? Am I being selfish and forgetting the needs and desires of other people? How can I best bring about the changes I need? Do I need to learn to accept a situation that won't change? What would I say to a friend in this situation if I were trying to help? What would a counselor trying to help probably say to do?