Gender Differences In Emotion and Communication
by Nina Bingham
INTRODUCTION: The role emotion plays in our lives cannot be overstated. We judge others based upon their emotional expressions or lack thereof, and may categorize them as overly-emotional or too cool. Others may judge us by our emotional behavior, and we early and quickly learn to control our emotions or they may get us into trouble. Emotions can be what saves a relationship, or what destroys it. Emotions serve as a thermometer, telling us how we feel when we look deep inside. Emotions can be lifesavers that motivate, such as fear or anger, and can save our lives. Despite all we know about neuroscience, psychologists and scientists who can explain the evolutionary reasons why we have certain emotions are at times themselves stymied by their own emotions, and are at a loss as to how to deal with them effectively. This article will show gender differences in emotion, and differentiate typical reactions from stereotypical roles. I will show how men and women’s emotional reactions differ, and how stereotypical labeling of the sexes is still occurring, and perpetuates the myth that men are emotionally removed, while women are emotionally sensitive.
Society expects women to be more emotionally expressive and show more sadness, fear, shame and guilt; to cry and withdraw at negatively charged events. Conversely, men are expected to “shrug it off,” to be nonchalant and even happy despite negative emotional situations. While there are statistically measurable emotional differences between the sexes, research reports agree that typical sex differences are smaller than stereotypical differences, and can “be taken as evidence of the strong influence that culture has on such differences” (Whissell, 15).
Society expects women to be more emotionally expressive and show more sadness, fear, shame and guilt; to cry and withdraw at negatively charged events. Conversely, men are expected to "shrug it off," to be nonchalant and even happy despite negative emotional situations. While there are statistically measurable emotional differences between the sexes, research reports agree that typical sex differences are smaller than stereotypical differences, and can "be taken as evidence of the strong influence that culture has on such differences" (Whissell, 15).
When understanding the topic of emotional development from the broader biopsychosocial perspective, the biological or organic factors are a fundamental starting place. There are biological differences between male and female that influence and contribute to emotional development as early as the womb. Not only does our anatomy develop differently, our glands and hormonal systems are different, and the sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen (among others) influence our brain development towards male or female gender identification. However, these studies both conclude that it is not one's genes, but socio-cultural influences that guide and shape gender roles the most powerfully. The family is the primary teacher and enforcer of gender stereotypes. These gender stereotypes appear to be socialized into children's belief systems as early as 3-5 years" (Blunbaum, 1983). In fact, "both mothers and fathers use more varied emotional terms, and more of them, when talking to daughters than when talking to sons. Some emotions, such as sadness, are mentioned more often to daughters than to sons" (Adams, Kuebli, Boyle, & Fivush, 1995; Fivush, 1989). If these patterns of behavior are established in early childhood development and reinforced by peers and authority figures such as parents and teachers, the stereotypes become entrenched. Are there other explanations for sex differences in emotion?
There are three theories of emotional development, which I will summarize here. Plutchik's psychoevolutionary theory of emotion (1980) points back in time to the evolution of our species, noting, as did Darwin, that reactions have an evolutionary value. They help us survive and adapt. Emotion also predicts what others are about to do. For example, smiles may predict safety. Next is Bern's Gender Schema Theory (1984) which is essentially a Social-learning theory. He suggested that gender is acquired as the child is forming a concept of self; what is "me" and "not me," and she forms this role identity based upon the role models she has. The third is Lazarus's Coping Theory (1993). His theory states that emotion is a coping strategy, which enables the individual to focus on the emotions instead of the problem (emotion-focused strategies). Whissell incorporated all three theories into a single model in an effort to explain emotional sex differences, and compare typical and stereotypical differences.
What are the typical sex differences? In coping with problems men were solution focused, while women tended to cope with emotions. Women scored higher than men on the Neuroticism scale and lower on the Extroversion scale. Men obtained higher scores for assertiveness and women were higher in gregariousness (Eysenck and Eysenck 1968). Studies that have observed emotional expressivity found that females tend to be slightly more expressive than males (Fischer, 1993). In reality, although stereotypes suggest a large difference in expressivity, observable differences were small to none (Kring & Gordon, 1998). However, consistently, women smile more often than men, and men have more aggressive anger reactions (Briton & Hall, 1995; Brody & Hall, 1993; Fischer, 1993). "For happiness and serenity men reported experiencing these emotions slightly more than women did. For sadness, fear, shame and guilt, women reported experiencing them slightly more than men. For anger, disgust, and contempt there were few significant differences, except men showed more contempt in an anger situation. Women report a higher probability of crying or isolating oneself in anger. Men reported they were more likely to hit, insult, and criticize than women and to "stare people down." Curiously, in disgust situations, men are more likely to laugh. When afraid, men are more likely to hit, insult, or criticize, as well as smile and contemplate than women. This may seem a strange reaction unless you understand it as putting on a cool demeanor in a threatening situation, stereotype masculine behavior. Conversely, women were more likely to freeze, cry or isolate in fear situations" (Hess, 631). We've seen the real differences between the emotional reactions of the sexes. What are the stereotypes?
They abound! There are greater differences in stereotyped behavior than in typical reactions. "In Western culture women are believed to be more emotionally expressive than men, to smile more often, to display more sadness, fear, and guilt. Men are believed to show physically aggressive anger (Brody & Hall, 1993; Fischer, 1993). Tests found that a higher percentage of men than women were expected to react with anger, happiness, and serenity. Men were judged to be likely to express anger in sadness, anger, shame, and fear situations. Men were judged to be likely to express happiness in guilt, shame, and sadness situations, and to express serenity in guilt. Women were judged to react with sadness, fear, guilt, disgust, and shame. Women were also judged to react with contempt in disgust, guilt, and shame situations. The participants expected men and women to feel happiness equally. Overall, participants expected women's emotional reactions to be more withdrawing (fear and sadness) and self-directed (shame and guilt), whereas men's emotional reactions are seen as more active and aggressive" (Hess, 622). In 1994 Whissell and Chellew conducted several experiments in which volunteers were asked to rate words based upon masculinity and femininity. They reported that "the personality traits sociable, helpful, cooperative, peaceful, submissive, timid, passive, and depressed were judged to represent a feminine stereotype" (1994, p 4). In contrast, the terms "stubborn, hostile, rebellious, aggressive, confident, and bold were perceived as describing masculine stereotypes" (Whissell, 9). The question is yet to be definitively answered as to whether the sexes' emotional differences are simply a reflection of our natural evolutionary, inherited biological adaptations, or if society molds a boy and a girl into what society has presubscribed for them, or perhaps, a combination of both. If a person rated himself or herself on the emotional scale, would a more accurate portrait be painted?
Ninety-three psychology students comprised of 63 women and 30 men rated themselves and found 12 significant differences between the sexes. Men rated themselves higher than women did on independence, being analytical, on taking a stand, on not getting upset or emotional under stress, on making a problem into a joke, and on being impulsive and daring. Women rated themselves more highly than men on gullibility, on seeking sympathy in times of trouble, on going to friends and family for help, on coping through fantasy, and on being confused (Whissell, p. 11). This experiment, as with others noted in this report, shows what we've suspected all along-that there are sizable differences between the way men and women express their emotions, and those differences seem to be stereotypically magnified by the mass media society in which we live. The statistical graphs presented with these studies substantiated these reports' claims, showing variance in emotion, but notably smaller variance than the participants' estimations. Based on these studies, I feel society overestimates emotional differences because we have been conditioned to; as early as preschool the differences between boys and girls are pointed out instead of our sameness. Our caregivers admonish us to "act like a girl" (or boy) in key social situations, and because we don't want to disappoint them, there is very little "wiggle room" to decide how emotionally expressive we truly want to be. If society would allow a spectrum of emotional expressiveness, regardless of gender, we'd have more men who were comfortable with their feelings, and more "level-headed" and assertive women, which I feel would be a healthier balance, narrowing the gender gap.
References
Whissell, Cynthia M., (Aug. 96). Predicting The Size And Direction Of Sex Differences In Measures Of Emotion And Personality. Retrieved February 5, 2008, From Web site: http://www.oweb.ebscohost.com.library.pcc.edu: from Genetic, Social & General Psychology Monographs, 87567547, Aug96, Vol.122, Issue 3 Hess, Ursula and Senecal, Sacha, Kirouac, Gilles, and Herrera, Pedro, Philippot, Pierre, and Kleck, Robert E., 2000.
Emotional Expressivity In Men And Women: Stereotypes And Self-Perceptions. Retrieved February 5, 2008, From Web site: http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals/pp/02699931.html: from Psychology Press Ltd, Cognition And Emotion, 2000, 14 (5), p. 609-642.
Society expects women to be more emotionally expressive and show more sadness, fear, shame and guilt; to cry and withdraw at negatively charged events. Conversely, men are expected to "shrug it off," to be nonchalant and even happy despite negative emotional situations. While there are statistically measurable emotional differences between the sexes, research reports agree that typical sex differences are smaller than stereotypical differences, and can "be taken as evidence of the strong influence that culture has on such differences" (Whissell, 15).
When understanding the topic of emotional development from the broader biopsychosocial perspective, the biological or organic factors are a fundamental starting place. There are biological differences between male and female that influence and contribute to emotional development as early as the womb. Not only does our anatomy develop differently, our glands and hormonal systems are different, and the sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen (among others) influence our brain development towards male or female gender identification. However, these studies both conclude that it is not one's genes, but socio-cultural influences that guide and shape gender roles the most powerfully. The family is the primary teacher and enforcer of gender stereotypes. These gender stereotypes appear to be socialized into children's belief systems as early as 3-5 years" (Blunbaum, 1983). In fact, "both mothers and fathers use more varied emotional terms, and more of them, when talking to daughters than when talking to sons. Some emotions, such as sadness, are mentioned more often to daughters than to sons" (Adams, Kuebli, Boyle, & Fivush, 1995; Fivush, 1989). If these patterns of behavior are established in early childhood development and reinforced by peers and authority figures such as parents and teachers, the stereotypes become entrenched. Are there other explanations for sex differences in emotion?
There are three theories of emotional development, which I will summarize here. Plutchik's psychoevolutionary theory of emotion (1980) points back in time to the evolution of our species, noting, as did Darwin, that reactions have an evolutionary value. They help us survive and adapt. Emotion also predicts what others are about to do. For example, smiles may predict safety. Next is Bern's Gender Schema Theory (1984) which is essentially a Social-learning theory. He suggested that gender is acquired as the child is forming a concept of self; what is "me" and "not me," and she forms this role identity based upon the role models she has. The third is Lazarus's Coping Theory (1993). His theory states that emotion is a coping strategy, which enables the individual to focus on the emotions instead of the problem (emotion-focused strategies). Whissell incorporated all three theories into a single model in an effort to explain emotional sex differences, and compare typical and stereotypical differences.
What are the typical sex differences? In coping with problems men were solution focused, while women tended to cope with emotions. Women scored higher than men on the Neuroticism scale and lower on the Extroversion scale. Men obtained higher scores for assertiveness and women were higher in gregariousness (Eysenck and Eysenck 1968). Studies that have observed emotional expressivity found that females tend to be slightly more expressive than males (Fischer, 1993). In reality, although stereotypes suggest a large difference in expressivity, observable differences were small to none (Kring & Gordon, 1998). However, consistently, women smile more often than men, and men have more aggressive anger reactions (Briton & Hall, 1995; Brody & Hall, 1993; Fischer, 1993). "For happiness and serenity men reported experiencing these emotions slightly more than women did. For sadness, fear, shame and guilt, women reported experiencing them slightly more than men. For anger, disgust, and contempt there were few significant differences, except men showed more contempt in an anger situation. Women report a higher probability of crying or isolating oneself in anger. Men reported they were more likely to hit, insult, and criticize than women and to "stare people down." Curiously, in disgust situations, men are more likely to laugh. When afraid, men are more likely to hit, insult, or criticize, as well as smile and contemplate than women. This may seem a strange reaction unless you understand it as putting on a cool demeanor in a threatening situation, stereotype masculine behavior. Conversely, women were more likely to freeze, cry or isolate in fear situations" (Hess, 631). We've seen the real differences between the emotional reactions of the sexes. What are the stereotypes?
They abound! There are greater differences in stereotyped behavior than in typical reactions. "In Western culture women are believed to be more emotionally expressive than men, to smile more often, to display more sadness, fear, and guilt. Men are believed to show physically aggressive anger (Brody & Hall, 1993; Fischer, 1993). Tests found that a higher percentage of men than women were expected to react with anger, happiness, and serenity. Men were judged to be likely to express anger in sadness, anger, shame, and fear situations. Men were judged to be likely to express happiness in guilt, shame, and sadness situations, and to express serenity in guilt. Women were judged to react with sadness, fear, guilt, disgust, and shame. Women were also judged to react with contempt in disgust, guilt, and shame situations. The participants expected men and women to feel happiness equally. Overall, participants expected women's emotional reactions to be more withdrawing (fear and sadness) and self-directed (shame and guilt), whereas men's emotional reactions are seen as more active and aggressive" (Hess, 622). In 1994 Whissell and Chellew conducted several experiments in which volunteers were asked to rate words based upon masculinity and femininity. They reported that "the personality traits sociable, helpful, cooperative, peaceful, submissive, timid, passive, and depressed were judged to represent a feminine stereotype" (1994, p 4). In contrast, the terms "stubborn, hostile, rebellious, aggressive, confident, and bold were perceived as describing masculine stereotypes" (Whissell, 9). The question is yet to be definitively answered as to whether the sexes' emotional differences are simply a reflection of our natural evolutionary, inherited biological adaptations, or if society molds a boy and a girl into what society has presubscribed for them, or perhaps, a combination of both. If a person rated himself or herself on the emotional scale, would a more accurate portrait be painted?
Ninety-three psychology students comprised of 63 women and 30 men rated themselves and found 12 significant differences between the sexes. Men rated themselves higher than women did on independence, being analytical, on taking a stand, on not getting upset or emotional under stress, on making a problem into a joke, and on being impulsive and daring. Women rated themselves more highly than men on gullibility, on seeking sympathy in times of trouble, on going to friends and family for help, on coping through fantasy, and on being confused (Whissell, p. 11). This experiment, as with others noted in this report, shows what we've suspected all along-that there are sizable differences between the way men and women express their emotions, and those differences seem to be stereotypically magnified by the mass media society in which we live. The statistical graphs presented with these studies substantiated these reports' claims, showing variance in emotion, but notably smaller variance than the participants' estimations. Based on these studies, I feel society overestimates emotional differences because we have been conditioned to; as early as preschool the differences between boys and girls are pointed out instead of our sameness. Our caregivers admonish us to "act like a girl" (or boy) in key social situations, and because we don't want to disappoint them, there is very little "wiggle room" to decide how emotionally expressive we truly want to be. If society would allow a spectrum of emotional expressiveness, regardless of gender, we'd have more men who were comfortable with their feelings, and more "level-headed" and assertive women, which I feel would be a healthier balance, narrowing the gender gap.
References
Whissell, Cynthia M., (Aug. 96). Predicting The Size And Direction Of Sex Differences In Measures Of Emotion And Personality. Retrieved February 5, 2008, From Web site: http://www.oweb.ebscohost.com.library.pcc.edu: from Genetic, Social & General Psychology Monographs, 87567547, Aug96, Vol.122, Issue 3 Hess, Ursula and Senecal, Sacha, Kirouac, Gilles, and Herrera, Pedro, Philippot, Pierre, and Kleck, Robert E., 2000.
Emotional Expressivity In Men And Women: Stereotypes And Self-Perceptions. Retrieved February 5, 2008, From Web site: http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals/pp/02699931.html: from Psychology Press Ltd, Cognition And Emotion, 2000, 14 (5), p. 609-642.
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