You do not become a brilliant soul, someone to adore, simply because you are highly educated or have an abnormally high IQ. There are brilliant intellectuals who have terrible interpersonal skills. There are also affluent folks who are greedy and unpopular. So, having a high IQ or being wealthy does not ensure that you will be someone others admire. What factors contribute to a magnetic personality that makes others feel at ease in your presence?
1. They have a laid-back attitude. They care, yet they leave you to make your own judgments. They listen and advise you, like a good parent, but if you want to go your own way, they know you'll learn from your mistakes. So, they're not scared to let you make errors. They understand that every error will nevertheless get you to your desired result via a roundabout road. They understand that mistakes are part of the normal learning process. While they care enough to listen and gently make suggestions, the path you take is entirely up to you. There is a relaxed demeanor that conveys, "I would do it this way, but in the end, it is your life and choice."
2. They are honest and straightforward. They do not mince words; they tell it like it is, even if it is harsh at first. Smooth talkers who tell you what you want to hear are more concerned with their own comfort. If the truth is unpleasant, weaker people will skirt it and tell a convenient truth which is generally half the truth. How can you base your existence on knowledge that is only partly correct? Truly honest people share the complete truth about themselves. Life is multifaceted, and this may make things tough at times. Mistakes happen. Dishonesty shines through the mask when others are not open about their faults. It is preferable to be with someone who tells the complete truth and both sides of the tale.
3. They challenge themselves to grow. A superstar soul is one that forges their own path, even if it means traveling alone. They are staunch individualists. They think differently and pursue tough goals that they set for themselves. They venture outside of conventional wisdom. Individualists consider conformity to be one of the worst things that can happen to them. This is because they are striving to attain quick expansion. If you follow trends of the herd, you are not a trend leader but rather, a trend follower. Creativity must be constantly expanding. For example, as a surrealist painter I had a decision to make. I could paint popular topics such as societal injustice that had already been portrayed. I might have imitated to sell my work or painted what was fashionable. But what I saw when I peered inside myself was unlike any style I'd seen before. I was a Mexican who loved traditional Mexican clothes and bright colors, and while some labeled it quaint, I felt that expressing the aspects I was most associated with in moments from my life and experience gave my paintings authenticity. Suddenly Mexico was represented.
I painted images from the perspective of a woman and my own loss and agony was my subject matter. The key is that I searched within for inspiration. While most artists of the period portrayed what was outside of themselves, I delved within to uncover what was hidden deep in my subconscious mind, the unexpressed sentiments and worries. I was concerned about what may go wrong during the surgeries, but I didn't discuss it. Instead of being a bore, I used the horror that was building up to paint images that portrayed it with symbols, patterns, and colors that were familiar to me. Hear me out: art must originate from the heart, and strange imagery directly from the unconscious. Turn to your heart which feels like home, as well as to your anxiety, angst, and desire. Represent what you aren't telling the world, what you cannot say must be expressed creatively.
This externalization will empower your art. Your imagination will be the rocket fuel that drives you to new heights. Pull what is concealed and prohibited to talk of as if you were pulling water from the driest earth. Consider: "What does it feel like to experience this?" Analogy is a useful tool for artisans. Every worry became a nail in my spine, holding it together. I was making the statement, "Fear is holding me together." This is an example of surrealism. Take what is true and sculpt it into something symbolic. The clay is transformed into a pot with cracks. The stillness of my closed lips (always closed) said, "In every portrait observe my silence." And the observer would wonder why I didn't feel comfortable speaking out. Because I was raised as a Mexican lady to be silent. However, suffering will cause you to remain silent, too. Isn't it true? There are no words to describe what it's like to only know difficulty and dread. Reality humbled me from the start, thus in all paintings I was depicted as the classic Catholic martyr. I don't mean that I was religious; rather, martyrs are selected by fate to suffer. Giving voice to your silent suffering will challenge and expand your creativity as well as speak to the onlooker.
4. They allow themselves to feel deeply. Admirable people allow themselves to feel fully; most individuals do not accept or tolerate being moved emotionally. They resist being caught away by emotion and have convinced themselves that crying is embarrassing. They are afraid of displaying their true personality to others. I didn't cry in public, even though I had a lot to cry about. I had chronic pain as a result of the failed surgery, the previous accident, and polio. However, I only permitted tears in my portraits. In practically all my paintings tears flow down my cheeks. Why did I add it? Because I was turning my emotions inside out for the audience.
Vulnerability is the ability to feel strongly and express it openly. Another recurring subject in my artwork was the representation of Diego on my forehead. Obviously, this represents my frequent and anguished thoughts about him. These were my raw expressions of grief, worry, and desire. I felt strongly and was not ashamed to share it with my audience. Never be ashamed to feel deeper others. It suggests you're sensitive. You have not allowed the world to harden you and render your artistic abilities meaningless. Your heart is still alive. Never apologize for loving too much, too long, or too passionately. It is a holy gift to the world.
5. They Still Find a Reason to Hope. Depression is something I knew intimately. One does take pleasure from wallowing in misery as a hog wallows in the mud. And one's character can become self-focused when misfortune stays. An accident, a freak accident nearly took my life and left me the gift of pain. But you may reason, you must have had bad karma in past lives. No, this was not the case. Rather, I was given a series of tragic events to deal with. More than anything it was a test to see what I could make of it. Would I wallow, or would I redeem my life? Could I, would I take the pain, fear, and hopelessness and fashion it into anything other than self-loathing and resentment? Not only did my body turn against me, but my heart as well. Usually, a person is given one set of maladies such as an illness or a heartbreak, but not both. Suffering could have stretched out and taken up my whole life, but I refused to give into grief. It was ever-present, lurking in the shadows on the sidelines, but I ignored it and made the most of my talents and abilities.
Why would a supposedly loving God use tremendous suffering as a test? I asked this question a thousand times, and the response was rhetorical. It said as follows: "Have faith that God has sent this and yet, still loves you." I repeatedly sought a response from God for His brutality, but all I got was a silent reply. My father was a lovely and good man, so seeing a Heavenly father who was a cosmic sadist didn't make sense. This was the same God who had created all that is intelligent and lovely in the universe. Nonetheless, He had left me the unfortunate gift of pain.
Some of us have done nothing wrong in previous lives to warrant heavy punishment. Some of us, like the saints, come to earth, this school of suffering, to master more sophisticated skills like forgiveness and faith. On the surface, these two words appear to be motivating. But when you have to experience them, their masks slip off and they become what they truly are: difficult to bear without crumbling. When excessive pressure is applied to a clay pot, the seams explode. It breaks into bits but also into dust, making it impossible to rebuild. You may never be the same as you were. Some people will wish you were. However, tragedy is transforming.
You were once a flawless specimen. The fact is, that form of you could endure very little force before breaking. Then comes life with its harshness and it fractures you not once, not twice, but so many times that you are reduced to a finely crushed clay. And this impossible scenario is necessary for you to cease, and for God to begin. You were a nice, yet naive, person in the beginning. Now you are a decent and powerful person.
But why must we be so strong? Because love is synonymous with power. Love selects the mountain and once there you lift someone up. Love always reaches out its hand. Strength is love in action. Not self-centered, egotistical, and worthless, but kind and compassionate. Strength has nothing to do with your ability to withstand hardship. God doesn't care if you appear brave. God sees no value in superficiality. It is better to cry than to conceal your pain. The truest strength is vulnerability; the bravery to confess when you're broken and the courage to keep going, offering life whatever tiny gift you have. Perhaps all you can afford is to choose a wildflower and present it to God. If it is offered with thankfulness, it is more valuable than the gift given by 10 wealthy men in church.
Poverty isn't the plague you've made it out to be. Didn't Christ say it was more difficult for a rich man to join God's Kingdom? Lack taught me a great deal. It taught me to laugh at the selfish American entrepreneurs who believed wealth was the only prize. I grew up in Mexico where I saw folks who were destitute but truly joyful every day. They possessed delight that the American elite couldn't understand who confused money and escape for true joy.
In my bed, limited by a shattered spine and heart, I worked to show the world that, even if God required me to travel through hell, I still gave something amazing back, if only a reflection of my pain. That gift became my legacy which to this day resonates in every country, the iconic face of vulnerability in suffering. Do not respond, "Wasn't she beautiful?" when you see my severe expression. Instead, say about me, "She was a trampled flower who still raised her head towards the sun."
With Love,
Frida
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