You do not become someone to adore simply because you are highly educated or have a high IQ. There are brilliant intellectuals who have terrible interpersonal skills. There are also affluent folks who are greedy and unpopular. So, having a high IQ or being wealthy does not ensure that you will be someone others admire. What factors contribute to a magnetic personality that makes others feel at ease in your presence?
1. They have a laid-back attitude. They care, yet they leave you to make your own decisions. They listen and advise you, like a good parent would, but if you want to go your own way they trust you'll learn from your mistakes. So, they're not scared to let you make errors. They understand that every error will nevertheless get you to your desired result via a roundabout road. They understand that mistakes are part of the learning process. While they care enough to listen and gently make suggestions, the path you choose is entirely up to you. They have a relaxed demeanor that conveys, "I would do it this way, but in the end, it is your life."
2. They are honest and straightforward. They do not mince words; they tell it like it is, even if it is harsh at first. Smooth talkers who tell you what you want to hear are more concerned with their own comfort. If the truth is unpleasant, weak people will skirt it and tell a convenient truth which is generallya half the truth. How can you base your existence on knowledge that is only partly correct? Truly honest people share the complete truth. Eventually dishonesty shines through the mask. It is preferable to be with someone who tells the complete truth, both sides of the tale.
3. They challenge themselves to grow. A superstar soul is one that forges their own path even if it means traveling alone. They are staunch individualists. They think differently and pursue tougher goals for themselves. They venture outside of conventional wisdom. Individualists consider conformity to be one of the worst things that can happen. This is because they are striving to attain quick expansion. If you follow trends of the herd, you are not a trend leader but rather, a trend follower. Creativity must be constantly expanding. For example, as a surrealist painter I had a decision to make. I could paint popular topics. I might have imitated other artists to sell my work, or painted what was fashionable. But what I saw when I peered inside myself was unlike any style of painting I'd seen before. I was a Mexican who loved traditional Mexican clothes and bright colors, and while some labeled it quaint, I felt this expressed the aspects I was most associated with. My unique world view gave my paintings authenticity. And suddenly Mexico was represented.
I painted images from the perspective of a woman's loss and agony. The key is that I searched within for inspiration. While most artists of the period portrayed what was outside of themselves, I delved within to uncover what was hidden deep in my subconscious mind, the unexpressed pain, sentiments, and worries. Instead of being a bore, I used the horror I had experienced to paint images that portrayed it in symbols, patterns, and colors familiar to me. Hear me out: art must originate from the heart and from the strange imagery of the unconscious. Turn to your heart which feels like home, as well as to your anxiety, angst, and desire. Represent what you aren't showing the world, what you cannot say must be expressed creatively.
Externalization will empower your art and your imagination will be the rocket fuel that drives you to new heights. Pull what is concealed as if you were pulling water from the driest earth. Consider: "What does it feel like to experience this?"Analogy is a useful tool for artisans. In my paitings, every worry became a nail in my spine, holding me together. I was making the statement, "Fear is holding me together." This is an example of surrealism. Take what is true and sculpt it into something symbolic. The clay is transformed into a pot that has cracked. The stillness of my closed lips (always closed) said, "In every portrait, notice my silence." And the observer would wonder why I didn't feel comfortable speaking out. Because I was raised as a Mexican lady to be silent. However, suffering will cause you to remain silent, too. Isn't this true? There are no words to describe what it's like to only know difficulty and dread. Reality humbled me from the start, thus my paintings depicted me as the classic Catholic martyr. I don't mean that I was religious; rather, martyrs are selected by fate to suffer. Giving voice to your silent suffering will challenge and expand your creativity, as well as speak compassion to the onlooker.
4. They allow themselves to feel deeply. Admirable people allow themselves to feel fully when most individuals do not accept or tolerate being moved emotionally. They resist being caught away by emotion and have convinced themselves that crying is embarrassing. They are afraid of displaying their true personality to others. I didn't cry in public even though I had a lot to cry about. I suffered chronic pain as a result of the failed surgeries, the accident, and polio. However, I only permitted tears in my portraits. In practically all my paintings tears flow down my cheeks. Why did I add it? Because I was turning my emotions inside out for the audience.Vulnerability is the ability to feel strongly and express it openly.
Another recurring subject in my artwork was the representation of Diego on my forehead. Obviously, this represents my frequent and anguished thoughts about him. These were raw expressions of grief, worry, and desire. I felt strongly and was not ashamed to share it with my audience. Never be ashamed to feel deeper than others. It suggests you're sensitive. You have not allowed the world to harden you and to render your artistic abilities meaningless. Your heart is still alive. Never apologize for loving too much, too long, or too passionately, either. These are holy gifts to the world.
5. They Still Find a Reason to Hope. Depression is something I knew intimately. One does take pleasure from wallowing in misery as a hog wallows in the mud. And one's character can become self-focused due to misfortune. An accident, a freak accident nearly took my life and left me the gift of pain. But you may reason, you must have had bad karma in past lives. No, this was not the case. Rather, I was given a chain of tragic events to deal with. More than anything it was a test to see what I could make of it. Would I wallow, or would I redeem my time? Could I, would I take the pain, fear, and hopelessness and fashion it into anything other than self-loathing and resentment? Not only did my body turn against me, but my heart as well. Usually, a person is given one set of maladies such as an illness or a heartbreak, but not both. Suffering could have stretched out and taken up my whole life, but I refused to give into self-pity. It was ever-present, lurking in the shadows, but I ignored it and made the most of my talents and abilities.
Why would a supposedly loving God use tremendous suffering as a test? I asked this question a thousand times, and the response was rhetorical. It said as follows: "Have faith that God has sent this and yet, still loves you." I repeatedly sought a response from God for His brutality and all I got was silence. My father was a lovely and good man, so a cosmic sadist didn't make sense to me. This was the same God who had created all that is intelligent and lovely. Nonetheless, He had left me the gift of pain.
Some of us have done nothing wrong in previous lives to warrant heavy punishment. Some of us, like the saints, come to earth, this school of suffering, to master more sophisticated skills like forgiveness and faith. On the surface, these two words appear to be motivating. But when you have to experience them, their masks slip off and they become what they really are: difficult to bear without crumbling. When excessive pressure is applied to a clay pot, the seams explode. It breaks into bits and to dust, making it impossible to rebuild. You may never be the same as you were. Tragedy is transforming.
You were once a flawless specimen. The fact is, that form of you could endure very little force before breaking. Then comes life with its harshness and it fractures you not once, not twice, but so many times that you are reduced to a fine powder. And this impossible scenario is necessary for you to cease, and for God to begin. You were a nice, yet naive, person in the beginning. Now you are a decent but powerful person.
Why must we be so strong? Because love is synonymous with power. Love selects the mountain and once there, you offer someone a hand up. Love always reaches. Strength is love in action. Not self-centered, egotistical, and worthless, but kind and compassionate. Strength has nothing to do with your ability to withstand hardship. God doesn't care if you appear brave. God sees no value in superficiality. It is better to cry than to conceal your pain. The truest strength is vulnerability; the bravery to confess when you're broken and yet, the courage to keep going, offering life whatever tiny gift you have. Perhaps all you can afford is to choose a wildflower and present it to God. If it is offered with sincerity, it is more valuable than gifts given by 10 wealthy men in church.
And poverty isn't the plague you've made it out to be. Didn't Christ say it was more difficult for a rich man to enter God's Kingdom? Lack taught me a great deal. It taught me to laugh at the selfish American entrepreneurs who believed money was the only prize. I grew up in Mexico where I saw folks who were destitute, yet truly joyful every day. They possessed delight that the American elite couldn't understand.
In my bed, limited by a shattered spine and heart, I worked to show the world that, even if God required me to travel through hell, I still could give something amazing back, if only a reflection of my pain. That gift became my legacy which to this day resonates, the iconic face of vulnerability in suffering. Do not respond, "Wasn't she beautiful?" when you see my severe expression. Instead, say about me, "She was a trampled flower who still raised her head towards the sun."
With Love,
Frida
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