How do you respond when someone gives you the greatest compliment of your life? Today my wife saw something in me I didn't see, or couldn't see, because we are always too close to see the truth about ourselves. We think we know who we are, when in truth what we know is a compilation of our successes and failures, and we hold our failures dearest. We do not see the gem we've become but the flaws within the gem. What, if like God, we only saw the sweetest profile of one another, overlooking the inclusions?
Most diamonds have flaws...there is believed to be less than 600 diamonds in the whole world without flaws. A flawless diamond is considered to be the symbol for absolute perfection. I've met only one truly enlightened being in my lifetime-a diamond without flaws. No corruptness or impurities were in him so Light could shine through unhindered. Like a diamond, he could slow the rays of light down to a crawl so that we who did not have eyes yet to see at the speed of light, could for the first time see how he bent light and made it into a rainbow. I stopped trying to be a perfect diamond when I met a perfect diamond. I was so far from it that it was shocking to me. Instead, I am learning to love my flaws.
Tonight, when my wife said that what she sees is a perfect diamond, I knew she was speaking the words of a fool, the words of love; one and the same. I cried...tears gushed out, spontaneously, the way I like them...not forced or rehearsed in my mind but tears from the core coming up and out. The way a mountain spring bubbles up naturally from the center of the earth. She didn't understand why I was crying, and I couldn't explain it. I cried not because I am a diamond, but because she compared me to one...
First my wife said my nose was just like my Grandma Ruths, and I smiled, because its the only large body part I don't have a problem with. Then she went deeper and said: your character is like your Grandma Ruths...your strength-and you have gained her wisdom. That's the point at which I lost it. My grandmother Ruth was the fiercest protector of my childhood, refusing to let me be anything less than a diamond, all the while seeing my flaws keenly. She was the strongest woman I've ever known, and without being conscious of it, my deepest desire was in some way to emulate her. It was the most meaningful things anyone has ever said about me. I cannot hope to be the diamond that she was, but it was enough to know there was a little of my Grandma shining through that she could see it, and that much sweeter because it came from my wife, someone who sees my flaws plainly everyday.
I wish for everyone a perfect moment like this, where someone sees the beauty in them what they fail to see in themselves. I hope they can ignore the imperfections long enough to hold them up to the Light, letting their brilliance shine through. I think that's what we're supposed to do for one another: hold each other up, leaving the inclusions for another day, marveling at the colors. The light and the diamond need each other: without light a diamond wouldn't sparkle, and without the diamond the light couldn't bend, displaying its many hues. I got as close to perfection as I'm ever going to get when she compared me to my Grandma, and that's enough for me. We may be diamonds with many flaws, but we are diamonds just the same.
To see all of Nina's books: http://www.amazon.com/Nina-Bingham/e/B008XEX2Z0
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