Life Lessons From A Kayak: We Create Our Own Happiness by Nina Bingham

Vengeance only begets vengeance. That's what my fortune cookie happened to say today. Ironic, because I lost my temper a few days ago with some people who refused to move their fishing lines on the kayak dock. Even though there's this big sign that says, "Kayak Ramp Only," they refused to move after I'd politely asked several times. But let me back up. These were the same folks who were "fishing" the day my car window was smashed, and  my wallet stolen in the parking-lot. See, they are part of a drug ring that deals out of this park...and they happened to not want to move for me when I returned to kayak again. I guess you could say it felt like a turf war: the drug dealers vs...me. Instead of arguing with them, I simply called law enforcement. Guess what? They scattered to their cars and high-tailed it out of there before the authorities arrived. But that's not the end of the story...at least it wasn't for me.

After having done my civic duty, you would have thought I could have walked away victorious, leaving the drama behind. But no, no...not me. An hour after the crisis had passed, I was still fuming, and having a miserable time. The normally soothing, calming sound of the water wasn't reaching me as I paddled. Why? Because I was angry. Angry that drug dealers think they can take over public parks, and kick people around. Angry because I had to spend hours of my precious day off, resolving a mess that they had started. Resentful, because I had looked forward to a relaxing day, and instead what I got a bowl full of trouble. How dare they try and intimidate me, when they were the ones breaking the law?! Well, you get my drift. It went like this-me raging inside, until I realized something. Long after the event had resolved, I was still keeping it alive in my mind; replaying it over and over like a warped, broken record. Worst of all, it was robbing me of the good time I had wanted so badly. It occurred to me that hanging on to anger is like creating your own bad karma- nobody gets hurt except for me.

This incident brought something very important to the forefront about our well-being: It's not what happens to us that causes stress; it's how we choose to respond to stress that causes the stress. I could have chosen to "let it roll off my back," to "let it go," to be free of the chaos it had created. Instead, I chose to dwell on the offense and it was robbing me of a perfect opportunity to embrace what was left of the day. As I grumbled to myself, "They ruined the day for me," it dawned on me that I was lying to myself.

I remembered what Eleanor Roosevelt said: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent." Eleanor knew this principle very well. She was an outspoken First Lady of the United States, who championed civil rights to the dismay of the male politicians. Not only was she fighting an up-hill battle politically because she was an outspoken woman, but her husband and President of the United States, FDR, was having a long-term affair with Eleanor's secretary. Yet Eleanor's courageous and dignified response to her personal and political challenges was nothing short of inspiring. In 1999, she was ranked in the top ten of Gallup's List of Most Widely Admired People of the 20th Century. I believe this is because she refused to allow others opinions to dictate her outcomes. She realized something very important: that she, and she alone, was responsible for her happiness.

After realizing I'd been ruining my own party, I decided to let go of the offense and try to salvage what remained of the day. In situations like these Reverend Matt Garrigan wisely advised, "Decide to start over." So I'd had a terrible morning...there was still the whole afternoon left. Suddenly the cool, blue water came sharply into focus. There were Herons, Eagles and Hawks flying past me; I hadn't even noticed them. There were boats to chase, and lunch to eat, and the sun seemed to be saying, "Come on! Start paddling!" I smiled for the first time, and silently thanked my mentors for their wisdom.

 Today's Life Lesson From A Kayak: We create our own happiness.

References:

Wikipedia. (2012) Eleanor Roosevelt. Retrieved from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleanor_Roosevelt

Radiant Light Ministries. (2012). Reverend Matt Garrigan. Found at: http://www.radiantlightministries.com