You feel that your life is difficult, if only occasionally, and you wonder why fortune picked the wealthy over you as you observe them enjoying lavish vacations and living in mansions. I referred to my existence as "terrible" and wished I had been born someone else. At gloved dinner parties, how many times did I discreetly, inwardly fume when wealthy Americans with brand-new vehicles made a concerted effort to include me, the weird Mexican artist with a broken command of English? I never belonged to the group. I was always the outsider. Being the last to know made me the outsider even in my own relationship. I was confined to the notion that I would always be a poor, sad cripple who learned to paint because of my numerous personal and professional setbacks. You could question if popularity or recognition made me feel less insecure and inadequate, but they didn't because emotions originate from within, don't they? Since they couldn't get to it, no psychologist could have healed what was wrong with me. The feelings that plagued me were only known to me, the quiet outsider. It was a horrible secret of mine.
You may be a rich and accepted member of country clubs and golf courses, but on the inside, you are still a child who fights to believe in yourself just as I did. Because it makes no difference how much money you have or who you know. Insecurity may plague a person for their whole lives. Why are some people so confident in themselves when you and I are questioning whether our decisions are correct? Why do we second-guess ourselves after doing our best? Isn't our best enough? Why do we compare ourselves to those who appear more handsome, stylish, intriguing, or younger? Because at some point, generally in childhood, we came to the terrible realization that we were not as excellent as other people. Somewhere, we failed to meet expectations. We were overweight, not athletic, or not bright enough. That's when we withdrew and were quiet, or at least not as confident as we could have been. We started living by pretending we were nobody and hiding in the shadows, or we pretended to be someone we wanted to be but knew we weren't. It happened in a single second, silently, so that no one saw the difference in us unless they really cared, and there weren't many people watching attentively enough.
When we reached maturity, we took our mask or mouth gag with us, and this version became us, on the outside at least. We adopted a persona and played it out. We were so well-rehearsed that it was difficult not to act out our false selves! We had misplaced the authentic, loving individual we were meant to be and replaced them with the flawless version. Except that when we play a role, we wind up hurting people we didn't mean to. We would act out in ways that did not value those around us and would be dismayed by the pain we had caused, but by then it had become our character. A character is a way of being that has solidified into a permanent condition, similar to how mud hardens into brick. Your character is a collection of other people's assumptions that you have internalized. My argument is that if you chose to change as a child, you may yet change as an adult. Take a fearless moral inventory and see who you've become. Not who you claim to be, or even how you act around others, but who you aspire to be. Because you may be whoever you choose at any time, just like you once became the second you. Honestly evaluate your choices and conduct, which may be difficult, but how else will you improve?
You're well aware that money can only provide fleeting satisfaction and partners and friends can only remain for so long. Happiness does not come from such things; it is an inside state. The only way to return to the carefree condition of childhood is to be your natural, unmolested self! This may be accomplished by taking time away from your regular activities to reflect on your life. Are you really where you want to be? Are your current connections fulfilling? Is your spiritual life blossoming? Do you live where and how you wish? Are you achieving your most significant goals? Most importantly, ask yourself, what quality did you have as a kid that came naturally that you have dropped? Because your child was exactly who you were meant to be. There was nothing wrong with them whatsoever, even if others did not understand you. This is what you must see. Your child-self was not wrong; it was always right. Yes, you made mistakes, but you always will.
Nothing is more essential than being loyal to yourself, since there will only ever be one of you in the history of the world. You will never again walk the world at this time in history. And what you have to offer is vital, or you would not be here. Being faithful to the kid within is so important to your happiness and development as a real person that I cannot put it into words. That youngster knew who they were without being told, didn't they? You were a seed that would germinate into an oak tree, and if left alone, you would have grown straight and tall. However, adults modified your perspective, and this interference altered your growth. And now you find yourself in a different situation than you should be. I'm not suggesting you have not done well with your skills and abilities. But I'm arguing that you gave up some attributes to become what the world wanted or expected you to be, such as laughter and joy, empathy and kindness, curiosity and creativity, and play. Children have an inherent sense of play! Why is this? Because their imaginations haven't been ruined. Where did your imagination go? There is freedom to be.
How many of you have resigned yourselves to becoming responsible and mature members of society? I'm arguing that now is the moment to restore your childhood freedom. There is no better moment than the present to recover your unmolested self, the seed that began so innocently. It is still present at the center of your heart. This time, don't change the perfect gift you are for anyone.
With Love,
Frida
No comments:
Post a Comment