Four Traits of Successful People

A lot of people, I would venture to say most people, content themselves with what has always been. They "settle," because if you don't risk much, you don't lose much, and they don't want to risk loss; failure would be too much to bear. They worry: what will my family think if I'm living life starkly different than the way my predecessors lived? What if I try something new and fall flat on my face, and somebody sees? What if someone knocks my dream out of my hands, because after all, the world can be a hard, cruel place? The "what ifs" in life snatch the passion for living right out of our hands and scratch out our potential before we even get started. Yet, it is this hope for a better tomorrow that is keeping you from becoming like everyone else: a walking zombie. 

When I use the word "successful," I don't mean monetary prosperity, because to me, that's not the true measure of success. You might be surprised to hear this, but most people don't measure their success by their net worth. Most people are more concerned with less tangible things, like achieving inner peace, or being altruistic, or living a free and expressive lifestyle. No, for most people, success goes deeper than the dollar. For most people, success is living your dream, and successful people have 4 traits that set them apart:

1. Successful people see into the invisible 

2. Successful people think positive 

3. Successful people refuse to quit 

4. Successful people listen to their inner voice.

 

When was the last time you slowed down long enough to reflect on how well you're doing in the "living your dream" category? When was the last time you really sat back and dreamed big? I am talking about looking into the invisible; that magical dimension of imagination swirling all around you? The one you're breathing in and exhaling out right now. When was the last time you were keenly aware of the field of all possibility-that which you unknowingly swim in every minute of every day? Maybe you're a dreamer who never puts legs on those visions of grandeur. While we are immersed in a boundless universe of endless possibility, it's a world we don't dabble in because we cannot see, touch or hear it (well, some psychics can). But the average Jane will walk through her unremarkable day completely oblivious to the power she has to attempt something remarkable. Why are we so out of touch? Because the average person can only see what it is already there. Successful people live by this axiom: What is not there is more important than what is there. 

A lot has been said to promote positive thinking in the last two centuries thanks to early meta-physicians like Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking), and New-Age gurus like Tony Robbins and Oprah, who have sung the praise of positivism. And while most people will tell you they are a positive person, in truth, I find that most people aren't. You may be thinking: "Isn't that a little harsh?" Let's face it: we live in a stressful, crazy world where it's easy to get mired in discouragement. It happens unconsciously, and it happens fast. Negativity is a slippery slope: just one run-in with a co-worker, or a snide comment from our mate is all it takes to send us sliding down hill. Sometimes we are the ones giving others a shove in the wrong direction. Unwittingly we shovel pessimism onto someone and watch as they go sliding down the negativity shoot. While we say we aren't negative, we are more negative than we're aware of. Research shows that the thoughts you had today are mostly a repeat of the thoughts you had yesterday, and the majority of those thoughts are negative! Successful people are not immune to negativity-they give and receive it as much as the next person, except when it comes to their dreams. When successful people are focused on a goal, they don't allow themselves the luxury of thinking or speaking negatively about it. They also refuse to entertain other people's negative comments, because they could erode the precious palace of success they are building in their minds. Words have a powerful effect: they can build, or they can destroy. Successful people understand and respect the power of words. Words can build our confidence, or they can sow seeds of doubt and insecurity. Successful people shelter their dreams from negativity.

Earning my academic degrees helped me to fully appreciate the power of persistence. I saw in college that it wasn't the smartest student that earned the doctorate degree, but the most determined. Likewise, I discovered in the workplace that it's not the most capable employee that will be promoted to supervisor, but the one determined to do what it takes to win that coveted spot. I discovered as a counselor that it was the client who pushed through the pain and kept showing up who got the breakthroughs they came to therapy for. In all areas of life: academic, professional and personal, those who refuse to give up invariably rise to the top. When you dismantle it, persistence is the willingness to fight through opposition, and it will give you the eye of the tiger. 

When I was a financially struggling college student and a single mom, there was a time when finances were impossibly tight, and I thought about quitting school almost daily. I remember facing a discouraging grade after pulling an all-nighter of cramming and being ready to give up. I also recall when towers of research papers were stacked atop my already intimidating work schedule. Many times, I was tempted to throw in the towel and end the self-torture. What kept me studying was a dream: the thought of walking across the stage with my family cheering me on, being the first in my family to earn a degree. Beginning with the end in mind kept my head in the game and enabled me to overcome adversity. A stubborn refusal to quit is the third prerequisite for success. 

Learning to trust yourself is the most important thing you will ever do. I realize that's a big statement, but what could be more important than trusting oneself? In the sum of it, what you have is yourself, and to think otherwise is to pretend that someone else knows what is right for you. Your truest voice speaks not in your head, but in your heart. Learning to trust yourself also means being willing to forgive yourself when you make mistakes, because forgiving yourself helps you be more forgiving of others. Successful people trust their ability to overcome slip-ups and failures because they've seen that life always offers a second chance. Successful people trust their inner voice because they've seen it's not a voice to ignore. It's leading you down a path that's suited to your calling in life, and in harmony with your purpose. Your inner voice instinctively knows what's right, urging: "Yes-do this!" It may not make total sense, but when it's right, there's no hesitation or deliberation-you just do it because you've learned that you can trust your inner compass, which is the fourth prerequisite of success. Being a more successful person means trusting yourself. 

The Voice by Shel Silverstein

"There is a voice inside of you
That whispers all day long,
"I feel this is right for me,
I know that this is wrong."
No teacher, preacher, parent, friend
Or wise man can decide
What's right for you--just listen to
The voice that speaks inside.” 

To see all of Devi Nina's books: http://www.amazon.com/NinaBingham/e/B008XEX2Z0

   

Four Keys To Manifesting Your Dreams

1. FOCUS

If you're like me, you probably have all sorts of goals in life such as finding the romantic relationship that's eluded you, or driving the car you've been drooling over, or taking the vacation of a lifetime, or buying the boy toy (or girl toy) you've been lusting after (motorcycles, motor homes-just about anything with a motor qualifies). You want it so bad you can taste it! But do you really want it as badly as you think you do? If you desire it with all your heart and remain laser-beamed focused on your object long enough, by the universal and metaphysical Law of Attraction, it must manifest. How do I know? Because I've put this law to the test repeatedly--but so have you, knowingly or unknowingly. Humans are natural born manifestors, meaning we make things happen through the sheer force of our will. We actually draw the object to us in proportion to how passionately we want it. How is this accomplished? By the atomic-like power of our thinking. This is why it's important to get laser-beam focused and maintain that focus, or honey, somebody else is ganna get your dream instead of you.

If you haven't read it, you should--you really should. A book...imagine that! The Secret by Rhonda Byrne was an instant best-seller because it told the average person an important secret: that they too could live the life they'd always imagined. It answered the question: What is the secret to success? I'll give you the watered-down, reader's digest version: The secret to success is the Law of Attraction. What is this law? It says: Whatever you predominantly think about, you will attract. Assuming there's at least a seed of truth here, I want you to stop and think a minute about what you've been worried over and consumed with today. Got it? Now I want you to ask yourself: Is it something I want, or something I definitely don't want? If you got the "I want it" answer, good for you, you maniacal manifestor! But if your answer was: "I don't want it to happen" then you've been unconsciously attracting what you don't want. Lesson learned: As long as you're obsessing, obsess about the right things-the things you want, not about the things that you don't want.

I'll unpack this further. Not only is it important to monitor your thoughts for any negativity that could creep in, but also be aware of positive feelings that I can only describe as "momentum." Whenever I am manifesting a goal, I can feel it building up inside as if the rock I have been pushing up hill has finally crested and is rolling down the other side and picking up speed. When you feel this happening, when you are gaining ground, hit the gas! It's go time. Don't stop to ask yourself: What am I doing? Don't stop to ask yourself: How is this going to work out? Don't put the breaks on for roadblock thinking. Tell those thoughts to get out of the way or you'll flatten them! Don't break your magic momentum, because your breakthrough is around the corner. When you can nearly see it over the horizon-do not quit! Never disrupt your momentum by pestering yourself with doubts and fears, or you'll hinder the energetic ball of positive momentum that's been building up steam. Be like a train that chugs, chugs, chugs until there's so much force thrusting you forward that you'd smash to bits any barrier set in front of you. To build up this kind of terrific power, focus your thinking on what you want, not on what you don't want. There's a metaphysical principle that applies here: "Attention is forceful in proportion to the narrowness of its focus" (Neville). The more narrowly you focus on what you want, the faster you'll draw it to you. If 24-hours a day you focus on your goal, you will undoubtedly find a way to manifest that new toy, or new relationship, or new job (be careful what you wish for!).

2. PREPARATION

Throughout my life I've set goals for myself. When I polish one off, I move on to the next without looking back. For example, I manifested a new RV in less than a month with very little money (and no loans) so I could spend the Summer parked near the river where I kayaked and completed my next book (which will sell, sell, sell). Is my life picture perfect? I've never met anyone who has a perfect life, and I've counseled and coached 34,000 people over the span of 18 years. If you can find a perfect person with a perfect life, I'll pay you million dollars (I'm that confident about this one). Our lives are infested with problems, besieged by setbacks, and drowning in challenges. Just this week my heart was giving me so much trouble that I honestly thought I was going to have to give up some of my dreams. But a young doctor happened along at an opportune time and mentioned that maybe my heart could be fixed with this certain new medication-and guess what? A week later I'm back to my old spunky self! When you are in the flow, remaining positive regardless of the circumstances, the Universe will bend over backwards to see that you are taken care of. All manner of unforeseen "coincidences" will rush towards you in an effort to push you closer to your goal. This is called synchronicity.

3. PERSEVERANCE

You must do two things to cooperate with this terrific law of manifestation: FOCUS on the right things, and PREPARE to win. Before I knew how I was going to retire, I did my homework and booked my RV site in advance, pared down my work schedule, scrimped and saved my pennies, and I schemed late into the night to get myself there. More importantly, I thought and spoke as if I was retiring. I didn't have a clue how it would all come together, but it's not your job to figure out how-that's the Universe's job. The Universe always knows there is a way. It can make a way out of no way. Your job is to keep dreaming, to PERSEVERE. Can you do that? The truth of the matter is: The Universe doesn't deliver dreams to the smartest, or to the wealthiest people. It delivers dreams to the people who don't give up...period. There's going to be a whole lot of nothings that will look like big, scary obstacles, and most people will be fooled and turn back. Prepare yourself to wade through swamps of discouragement, and woods made of obstacles as thick as trees. You'll have to push a little harder than most people-to go for broke when others turn back. And here's one more thing you need to know about manifesting: it hardly ever happens when you think it should, or how you think it should.

4. FLEXIBILITY

If you can accept that life has its own hourglass and that it does things in its own slowpoke and peculiar time, you're halfway there. Have you noticed when you're biting your nails for something to happen it usually doesn't in your time frame? If you're like me, you'll break through at the last tick of the clock, then race like a madwoman to tie up the loose ends. But because you're a natural born manifestor, you'll somehow sew it all up (I've concluded this warped sense of time is the Universe's biggest fault). You may also have to accept that it didn't happen exactly as you would have designed it (I'm talking details now), but you'll get there-just by a slightly different route than you first envisioned. And here's a third principle of manifesting: Be FLEXIBLE; roll with the punches. The Universe isn't working it out only for your benefit-it's not all about you! The Universe employs a conservation of energy that we don't understand. You can't look into every heart the way It can. But It is putting the puzzle together piece by piece so that it will benefit as many people as possible. You are but one piece of the grand puzzle. If it happened differently than you expected, console yourself with this: It's not all about you.

Cooperate with these key concepts: FOCUS, PREPARATION, PERSEVERANCE and FLEXIBILITY. The power of intention is undeniable and unbelievably powerful. It is a force moving within you to shape and mold you and conspiring around you for everyone's highest good. It works even while you sleep, so leave your worry by the bedside when you lay your head on your pillow at night. Let the effort float away, knowing your dreams will be waiting for you in the morning.


To see all of Devi Nina's books: http://www.amazon.com/NinaBingham/e/B008XEX2Z0