A strong indication that I've been headed in the wrong direction is when I feel the need to rescue; when I can't see how the other could possibly do without my assistance. It's at that moment that I need to let go. They need to swim out of my karmic riptide to safer shores. When the impulse to do what I always do strikes me (which is to rescue), I need to remember to do the opposite. Why I keep "rescuing" has to do with my karma, which is a complicated thing. My karma, or what I was handed in life, is my fate. It was my fate to be born to a dysfunctional, abusive, and mentally ill parent. It was my fate to experience serious depression. It was my fate to get a divorce because it was my fate be a born a lesbian. It was my fate to birth a teen who would take her own life because of the depression she inherited. And it was my fate to write a book about that journey. Fate's severity can take our breath away. Fate is the myriad of circumstances, both the heavy and the wonderful, that were presented to me to face in this lifetime. Fateful circumstances came to me instead of me finding them, which is what makes it seem so unfair. I didn't ask for this! How many times have I said that? But in truth, I always had a choice about how I responded to my karmic linchpins. I could survive them and make the most of them, or I could turn sour and bitter, claiming that life dealt me a losing hand of cards. The Guardian of Your Destiny, that cosmically wise heart inside that has seen you through your darkest hours, is still at the helm, and if you want to change your fate, you still can.
Your most precious quality is the willingness to keep your heart unreasonably open. When it would be easiest to harden, to turn away or throw an insult, it is the practice of compassion that helps us manage the impossible. Sometimes the most compassionate response is no response at all, because truth always bubbles to the surface. Keep yourself open, humble and available; that's all you need to do. Allow Infinite Love some time to work on the hearts around you and get out of the way. Then you'll see the wondrous hand of Providence, and you could never do any better than that. The key to avoiding disaster is always found in a compassionate response. But how do we find the strength to keep our hearts open when they are aching or begging us to strike back?
The Guardian of your Destiny is your astral inner self. You've got this compass inside that knows where you should go, who you should meet, who you should love, who will break your heart, and who will tenderly and carefully hold it. Your heart broadcasts these subtle but persistent messages. But when fate comes along and presents itself we can mistakenly assume it's "meant to be." We mistake fate for destiny and welcome it with open arms. The irony is: what looks like destiny ("meant to be") may actually be fate-a circumstance to test us, something we have control over. The repeating circumstances in our lives try to show us in living color what we have learned, and what we have yet to learn. Fate will tap dance into your life time and again, waving your life's lesson right under you nose. Some of us have discovered what our lesson is, but even those of us who have figured it out still struggle with the lesson (My life lesson is: "You can't rescue anyone, you can only love them"). Fate and destiny can look so much alike that we are fooled, and consequently made a fool of.
The events that are truly out of your conscious control are destined, and soul mates which were prearranged to meet you are destined. This is not the same as fate-that which you can change. Destiny is like the iceberg that you are going to hit, regardless of where you steer the boat. The ship's steering is gone, the wheel is spinning and when you hit it, you're definitely going down. Life is swimming along when suddenly you are tossed into the ocean and you've just entered dangerous water that's way over your head. The Guardian of Your Destiny is the captain in these situations, and she holds the map of your life in her capable and certain hands.
Mythologist Joseph Campbell equates the Guardian of your Destiny to the archetype of the Old Crone; an all-knowing, supernatural Fairy Godmother and protective figure:[3]
| "The child of destiny has to face a long period of obscurity. This is a time of extreme danger, impediment, or disgrace. He is thrown inward to his own depths or outward to the unknown; either way, what he touches is a darkness unexplored. And this is a zone of unsuspected presences, benign as well as malignant." |
At the end of your journey the fat lady will be there to welcome you back to the Other Side with open, if flabby arms. She'll be singing with such gusto that you'll be forced to smile or to laugh out loud. She'll be laughing with you now (instead of at you), because you discovered in the struggle to survive that not only could you swim, but you were tougher than any shark and you developed night vision. Yes, you survived the murky, dark waters more times than you thought possible. Yes, it was terrifying, but the journey was also more breathtaking beautiful, more fascinating, and much more dramatic than any movie you ever saw. The best part-what the fat lady is singing about, is your happy ending. There's one written for every single one of us by the Guardian of Our Destiny. She's standing tall to light your way-and although a lot of people will, she will never fail you. When you wonder if you're headed in the right direction, never fear: remember, you are the Daughter (or Son) of Destiny, and she will see you safely Home.
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