Love me like you did
In the old lofty way of love
When to look away the God's forbid
And angels bestowed a little shove
Before you lost your taste
For treasures of the carnal kind
And secrets only for your ears
Had gone to waste
Take me back to rapture divine
Turn back the clock to a happier time.
There was a time when I wished I were dead. Instead, I have been here for a long time. It got comfortable living as if I had died. The only thing that made sense to me was nature, which is why I moved so close to the sea, so something made sense in my world. The sea is my constant companion. I can count on its waves. I can count on the sunset down to the minute. I can count on the wind to tussle my hair. I can count on the seabirds to fly in a v-formation. I can count on the pungent smell of saltwater and the feel of soft sand squishing between my toes. Nature is reassuringly predictable (most days), and it will never leave me. It is the one true constant in all of life. And its wild beauty far surpasses any man-made work of art. Perhaps best of all it is gentle, quiet, silent. It asks nothing of me. Nature is and always will be a refuge for lonely souls and questioning wanderers. Her wide embrace encircles continents. She surrounds us, bathes us, holds us secure. Nature is your mother; she is my mother; the mother of all tired and thirsty souls.
The shell, its corkscrew daggers raging
Dusts the shelf, waiting
For a gaze to fall upon it
And make it shine.
The sand like bodies falling
Bows its million stars, crystalline
Giving into my weight
Sacrificing itself evermore.
The wind, a flute playing silently
Whips the leaf, scours my eyes
Moving like the ghost does
Nothing, and everything.
The wave, breaking like glass
On blue-green rollers where death lives
Says, come for a swim
Be mine.
The beach, a vast mirage,
mysterious water world
Crashing and clawing at the shore
silently recedes
Answering to no one
It makes its own rules
The way we should.
How do I learn this effortless dance?
A way has to be opened in me
That goodness can flow through
So words can move through
And not stop up the natural flow
Which is gracious in its effusion.
A fount has to be released in me
A wellspring for music
So my heart can skip again
Can it be weightless
Floating above the memories
I see them below but they cannot touch me.
A way has to be opened in me.
Embattled me that died
Alone on a barren hillside
Safe at last, or was it pride?
A bloody sword by my side.
My dangerous dear friend
Who hysteria and heartbreak penned
By my violent child forced to pretend
Life's pain twisting at rope's end.
All we, hiding on a hill
Clutching our hoary swords, still
For the children whose hope was spilled
Violence became quite the thrill.
Will we recover, sister and brother?
So much pain it makes me shutter
What about you, my lover?
With the sword we pierce each other.
See, we all bleed
Forgiveness is all we need.
Every tree reaches
All waves move forward
And sunlight floods the beaches
Even lazy clouds move shoreward
But the world goes still
The moment I think of you
The mirror records holidays you have missed
My hair's gone grey and my shuffle is weighty
As I give the dog you left a kiss
Before you know it, I'll be turning eighty
But the world goes still
The moment I think of you
You live in a timeless place
If only I could see your face.
"Have pity, have pity" she cried
All she spoke at the last
Until the dreadful day she died
Begging for solace.
An ephemeral dignity
An old folks place
To me she was nobility
A goddess, the image of grace
Forced to her knees by fragility
I shall ever enshrine her face.
And I, not knowing what to do
Considered love and considered you
And without a doubt turned me around
To take a second look and found
We, both faithful and untrue
For so is the thorny path of two.
Yet your embrace does pull me still
Against the current if my strong will
And hold me fast against the tide
As if I were your blushing bride
In charm you are superior
My fallacious poise inferior.
Who leads who, for all are untrue
Even a miserable, nagging shrew
Even the docile husband she feeds
Even the hundred children they breed
Even a priest must confess his sins
Even the mayor of the town you're in.
When it comes to the heart, historically fickle
Its wanderings get us into a pickle
Or stews us into a terrible jam
Led to the slaughter like a mint-jelly lamb
All to blame on the wandering eye
Where senior discount doesn't apply.
But I, seeing my hopeless state
Agreed with destiny's obstinate fate
That Aphrodite brought you back to me
Where I hid among the camouflage sea
And while we aren't entirely wise
Immaturity was our dark demise.
Happy now, I am glad to say
Age has called us back to stay
The thorny path we tread for love
Now fits us like a welcome glove
Cry no more for the rocky climb
Which disappeared in the march of time.
I am all I have.
I look after me.
My happiness is not yours; my health is not yours.
I am all and everything I need.
I need me to look after me
which is what will make me the happiest.
I am not you; I do not need what you need.
What I need is neither here nor there to you.
I risked a little and I risked a lot when opening the door.
But doors were made to both open and shut.
I shut the door when what you wanted of me
eclipsed my need to be healthy and happy.
This is called self-efficacy, meaning: my needs are not your needs.
Therefore, I prioritize my goals and dreams.
This is not the same as selfishness,
which is to hurt others to get my way.
Prioritizing my goals and dreams
doesn't stop you from getting what you want.
I will use my personal power to reach for what I want the most.
If someone else doesn't like it, that says more about them than me.
If you can help me achieve what I desire to build, then we can work together.
If not, it cannot be helped-for I am all that I have.
Is it possible to stay in love?
We were so carefree at first
People change like clouds above
Pure as the snow-white turtle dove
With a steely bond and bewitching thirst
When ecstasy was enough
And time, the monstrous machine
Beat us black and blue
Gouge my eyes out for what I've seen
Innocence lost at just fifteen
The witches cooked up a wicked brew
She was just a teen; she was just a teen!
Losing you, losing you
When I was still a queen
What did it mean?
How does battered love survive?
A castaway stew
A voiceless beehive
I yearn to feel alive.
I came to live upon this coastland
Where crusty crabs and divorcees live
Where waves lap upon the sand
Where drug lords will give you the shiv.
Gentle sunrise from the violent night
Like a child born from unspeakable pain
So the castaways have lost the fight
With a society gone insane.
And found my paradise poor and chaste
A Latin welcome discovered
Where close-toed shoes are out of place
And friends turn into lovers.
Who I was I can't remember
I left me behind to find my peace
And now it is but a glowing ember
Which some fine day will find release.
The castaways all came to find
What they could not get at home
A simpler way, a gentler grind
And a beach on which to roam.
So when you see a castaway
Pass by with just a knowing nod
For the tourist who has gone astray
And the tropical escape they trod.
Do not bother them, let them go
In silence and in sorrow
For what they loved long ago
Was sunk like pirate's cargo.
You were born the top of the heap
You were raised in society's favor
The patriarchy is ruthless and deep.
A woman's place is to serve and to weep
Black skin bows to the white enslaver
To the children's beds the fathers do creep.
In money and power you swim, neck-deep
Beholding to men whose cruelty you savor
Your allegiance is purchased dirt cheap.
Throw your regrets in a silent heap
Swallow the communion wafer
Monsters will visit you as you sleep.
Oh, the company you keep
Sent to the torture chamber
You became the sheep.
Yes, you became the sheep
When you sold out your neighbor
The price you payed was steep.
O Father, death will be your savior.
Perfection we were never
Asymmetrical and extraterrestrial
Yet, needing each other as ever
A passion more exotic than perennial.
You are so stupefying
Bewildering and perplexing
Your decisions leave me sighing
Your need for amusement is vexing.
Couldn't be more different
For I don't find people charming
To you they are stimulating
To me they are alarming.
We are like messy hair
With an unstable head we must share.
Empty fairytales draw me in
How I want them to be true
Weave a tale that makes me grin
Wonder if you always knew
Ideals of happily ever-afters
Easy answers for tangled troubles
For all your promises, there's little laughter
When we should be bathing in passion's bubble.
A delicate butterfly sought after
A lullaby of love hidden 'neath the rubble
A sunset without the kiss of a rose
The puppet master is obscured by the rafters
Aged, we turn to one another
The promised land hides in the shadows.