"When you're turning 50-something, the tendency is, most likely you want to maintain whatever aroma of youth you still have in your being, savoring every last drop of it as you can get. But not Nina Bingham, celebrated motivational speaker, and author of best-selling books. We'll be finding out why she's turning her hair all white in celebration of her 52nd birthday."-Hairvolution Magazine
Friday, September 7, 2018
Monday, September 3, 2018
Welcome To Nirvana
Distinguishing The Mind from the Soul
To distinguish mind-chatter from pure being-ness is a simple thing. If the mind is doing its usual: approving and disapproving, liking and disliking, offering opinions and commentary, it is not your soul. The soul is the observer. It stands quietly back, and while it will offer direction, it does so only when necessary. Rather than make judgments, it refrains from control and manipulation. It sees no sense in trying to change others and finds the mind's trickery amusing and its need to know compulsive. The difference between compulsive thought and the simplicity of observation is stark. While the mind insists on having its way, the soul always obeys its blueprint. Allow me to explain.
The soul is sent into the world with objectives or "themes" that repeat throughout your life. These themes can be described as your soul's blueprint, a plan for your present human incarnation. For example, if a theme of yours is patience, life circumstances will be arranged so that you continue to encounter situation after situation that tries your patience (a difficult theme, by the way). It is our choice whether we learn from these life lessons. Have you ever wondered what your major life themes might be? Often there are multiple themes. One of my dominant life themes is the "rescuer" theme. I have encountered needy people all my life and chose an education in counseling so I could continue to surround myself with needy people and to rescue. To my dismay, the lesson of this theme is that nobody needs to be rescued! The lesson I had to learn was: "You can't save anyone; you can only love them" (Anais Nin). For a soul who came into this world with a Rescuer or humanitarian theme, this truth has been shocking and more than a little discouraging. Yet life continued to bring me this lesson in a myriad of forms, played it out in the extreme when my teen daughter tragically took her own life at age 15. I have seen in my own life that the Universe will keep ratcheting up the volume until we get the message.
The Souls' Progress
As our souls' progress, we see that life seldom gives us what we want but often what we need. While our mind is busy judging circumstances as good or bad, painful or pleasurable, our souls see the purpose of suffering and agrees with every test. It sees the wisdom and purpose behind the catastrophic event or closed door and always confirms, "All is as it should be." The soul acknowledges our circumstances as the next obstacle in our life's blueprint. It may seem difficult to distinguish when we are functioning in spirit mode vs. being taken for a ride by the vehicle of the mind. There is a simple litmus test to distinguish mind from spirit, and we should inquire regularly which is running us. When operating from the mind's perspective we will have an opinion. When operating in spirit mode, we have no agenda. In spirit-mode we cease to strive and are free from the burden of opinion. In those rare moments when we are free from wanting or opinion we can know with some certainty that we are "being," and this is the hallmark of an enlightened form of existence.
Is anything wrong with accomplishment, with being productive? Certainly not, for that is a primary function of the brain. It ensures our survival and does so through "doing." There is nothing inherently un-spiritual about activity. Yet the compulsiveness of the mind would work us to death or worry us to death if we let it. Many have been driven like a slave by their minds and retired to an early grave because to it. In the West we are programmed early with a "doer" orientation. While being an educated person is an asset, knowledge alone is not the key to our unlocking, for knowledge and truth are different. All my life I've confused them. A person can have book smarts and still be a dishonest person. However, our academic system would have you believe knowledge and truth are one and the same. Truth is the pursuit of right thought and right action, while knowledge is the pursuit of answers.
There may come a day when the accepted answers are not good enough for you, then you will be poised to see the truth. We must come to the end of our understanding to understand anything. And while that may seem like spiritual silliness or a platitude, as long as we think we know, we are blocking new ideas and resisting the more innovative and imaginative self, what psychology refers to as the Super-Ego. This Higher Self has information which our limited conscious intelligence doesn't access, spiritual information that the mind automatically doubts and demands evidence for. The scientific method of reliability and validity was born out of the mind's need to know. The mind always wants to be shown proof. While the scientific method is a valuable means of measuring physical reality in most circumstances, when it comes to the nature of the soul, that which is eternal and invisible to the naked eye, reality cannot be verified via the scientific method. The soul does not pass the test of scientific inquiry because the spiritual realm, which science has little knowledge of (and I am referring specifically to the science of Quantam Physics or Mechanics) is a young science, in its infantile stages of discovery. It cannot produce for humanity the answers science seeks regarding the unseen world because it is still in early discovery. Atheists claim there is no soul and no after world because there is no proof of its existence. This is true, there is no proof... yet. Science has only recently discovered how physical matter is created via thought wave, light and vibration.
How then can science explain the world of spirit, the unseen world, if it cannot yet explain the world which is seen? It is only arrogance and short-sightedness that says we know everything already. Yet, in the short span of my lifetime I couldn't have imagined or predicted the technological boom and advances, even scientific discoveries, and I would have said to a time traveler from the future, "That's impossible!" Remember, the mind is always convinced of its rightness and this tendency of the mind is a trap. It is the quality of the not-knowing mind that Super-Consciousness finds most intriguing and a welcome place to land. To introduce anything new to our tiny minds we have to be reduced to a state of childlike inquiry, what I would call not-knowingness.
Not-knowingness
The mind thinks it knows, which leaves no room for unique and unconventional approaches, innovation, creativity and the like. Doing it "the way it's always been done" stamps out the creative impulse much like a donkey who rushes to stomp out a fire. The seat of invention is the Higher Self or Super Consciousness, while the seat of convention is the brain. The brain is most comfortable with sameness and conformity. It feels safe, yet unchallenged when conforming. It gets bored and weary of "staying in line," yet stays in line because it fears striking out on its own. Those with a strong drive for security will not allow their conventionality to be ruffled or disturbed.
I stated earlier that spiritual awakening is a process of learning to welcome the uncomfortable because it is distinctly uncomfortable to not know. It is uncomfortable to be the student and not the teacher. It is uncomfortable to strike out in an unknown direction, particularly one where the end. Our minds warn us to be on guard, to resists going too far out on a limb. These safety messages are mostly counter-productive to our spiritual growth and to the growth of the personality. Stagnation is the result of thinking the same thoughts and showing a disinterest in anything that smells remotely of risk. There is only one option if we wish to grow spiritually, and it really isn't a choice at all, because life has a way of thrusting on us what we came here to learn. Even when we fight it, we eventually see that growth is inevitable. The only choice we have is how fast or how slow we grow. For those earnestly seeking to rid yourselves of outdated habits and negative thought patterns, one way is to take a step towards that which seems most uncomfortable; running towards risk instead of away from it. As Buddhist nun and author Pema Chodrin advised, "Lean into the sharp edges." Without leaning towards enlightenment, the old patterns remain ensconced, and the scene will never brighten, the mind content to rest in its own comfortable darkness. I can't think of anything less conducive to growth than sameness.
Leaning into the sharp edges
The question we are then faced with is: How do I lean into the sharp edges? What steps are necessary to take? This is an ironic question, considering what is necessary for your unfolding enlightenment is for you NOT to take any steps. "But I can't lay around like a slug all day," your mind might argue. Point taken. A life of utter inactivity would be counterproductive to your survival and happiness. The soul desires expansion and evolution, so stagnation is not spiritual. To live on a mountain top like a yogi might sound enticing but we would stagnate pretty fast living the life of a recluse. For most of us, inactivity is not the challenge. Most of our minds demand of us activity, interaction and stimulation. I am speaking to those of us who have been programmed to think of achievement and accomplishment as valuable and important and who have difficulty being still and at rest. It is for those of us with active minds who enjoy keeping busy, that I am speaking to. For us, the thought of standing still too long creates a sort of ill-at-ease feeling. Yet there is nothing wrong with rest, peace and inactivity (so long as it doesn't impede on our plans, says the mind). This type of production-oriented thinking is common to individualistic societies such as the U.S., and can result in feelings of inferiority and "not good enough," even in feelings of shame when we aren't busily proving our worth. Women are notorious for being the most overloaded member of the household, feeling as if everyone else should come first in their role as mother and caretaker. Besides a feeling of having to earn our keep, we feel as if we need to prove our happiness to others, our wealth, even our attractiveness. This is a symptom of deep-ceded inferiority feelings that are the antithesis of peace and unconditional positive regard towards oneself. Other feelings such as competitiveness and comparison well up when we haven't taken the time to simply "be." If you feel as if you are trying too hard to be accepted, liked and respected, than you probably are. You may need to take time to step away from the mad rush long enough to realize that if you died today the world would go on perfectly well without you. The world wouldn't stop turning, and even the ones who love you the most would eventually move on. Only the mind believes you are irreplaceable or so important that you mustn't take time to stop and "smell the roses."
A Dead Radio
Psychic Sylvia Brown accurately described life when she said it's like being dropped in a war zone with nothing but a dead radio. The intimate connection with the Other Side our soul once had is severed and we find ourselves lost and alone on a battlefield. Sylvia also explained that because of the blissful mindset we have while in spirit form on the Other Side, we often take on more than we bargained for in life, kind of like a child who puts too much food on her plate (my mother used to tell me my eyes were bigger than my stomach). The child doesn't mean to, it's just that the food looks so enticing and they're planning on gobbling it up... the reality, however, is often a very full plate and a tummy ache. Some of us have agreed to more "adventure" and at times more sorrow than other souls who have wisely learned to "pace themselves." I'm making a mental note now to take only what I can handle the next time I line up at the rebirth buffet!
Because earth is such a difficult soul assignment, we treat universal laws if they were a "genie in the bottle." We want our spiritual lives to have a magic and instantaneous effect, like Aladdin's lamp. If we rub the lamp a certain number of times then the genie will pop out and grant us our wishes. However, the universe is just a little more complicated than that. This is Disney entertainment, and while appealing, it doesn't take into account that the universe is not primarily interested in making you happy. But gee, you might be thinking, doesn't God want us to live happy lives? Of Course so. However, a happy life is not the reason you took a body. While the Dali Llama has explained that the purpose of life is happiness, I'm pretty sure he did not mean we are kings and queens who were created to be served. No indeed, it is the other way around. We are here to serve others (I think Christ emphasized this repeatedly). This earth is the landscape upon which we serve. Then what did the Dali Llama mean about happiness? When seen through the eyes of Buddhist philosophy, happiness translates into the Buddhist word, "Nirvana." But "Nirvana" does not mean happiness. The word actually translates to: "Cessation." The end of. The end of striving. The end of anxiety. The end of comparison and competition. The end of... me. The end of my inflated ego, and thankfully, the beginning of wisdom. Buddha said at the end of the seeker's path would be... the end. But we would rather that it meant never-ending bliss and happiness. While it's a nice fairy tale, the Buddha had a penchant for telling the truth.
If we can manage to control the ego we will enter enlightenment, which amounts to the end of compulsive wanting. Like a spoiled child, the ego never stops yearning to be somewhere else, jealous for more, whining for bigger and better, luxurious and more deluxe. Have you ever noticed that the ego is never satisfied for long? Freud called the ego, "His majesty the baby." So let's examine the human being you've become and ask a searching question: Are you in fact the person your ego has made you out to be?
If we can manage to control the ego we will enter enlightenment, which amounts to the end of compulsive wanting. Like a spoiled child, the ego never stops yearning to be somewhere else, jealous for more, whining for bigger and better, luxurious and more deluxe. Have you ever noticed that the ego is never satisfied for long? Freud called the ego, "His majesty the baby." So let's examine the human being you've become and ask a searching question: Are you in fact the person your ego has made you out to be?
Who you really are
First, let's look at the numbers, numbers don't lie. There are over 7 billion humans on the planet. That's about 3,000,000 births per day, and 80,000,000 (80 million) births a year. Still feeling larger than life? To give you an idea of the enormity of that ratio (1 in 7 billion), if you were to spend only 1 minute talking to every person it would take you around 14,000 years to meet everyone. That's 140 centuries. Although we can't wrap our minds around the fact that we are only one entity of 7 billion entities, the larger reality is that compared to all the souls in eternity, we are like a single grain of sand as among all the beaches of the world (which is, by the way, 1 in 7 Quintilian, 5 quadrillion, or 1 in 700500000000000000000). I imagine by now you've starting to put your existence into proper perspective. And while you are as unique and individual as a snowflake, you are also expendable. I know, not news you really wanted to be reminded of. This vulnerability, this amoeba-like quality of our lives absolutely terrifies the ego. In defense, it puffs itself up as big as humanly possible, much the same way animals do who are trying to fend off a predator. While the ego may even fool us into believing its invincibility and over-inflated proportions, this behavior is telling. In psychological terms there is a defense mechanism known as, "reaction formation." It is when we take the opposite belief because the truth causes too much anxiety. The ego appears larger than life so it doesn't have to feel it's own frailty and face it's own mortality. We pretend so much of the time that we may not actually know how we really feel.
The idealic spiritual life
I began this article explaining the difference between the egoic mind and the spiritual self. As you can see, the two are about as different as night and day. While the ideal spiritual life would be uninterrupted joy and bliss, most of our spiritual experiences are far more common and mundane; the exact word might be "simple." The mind complicates, while the Higher Self keeps it real and simple. If you are an excitable person, spirituality may be somewhat of a letdown. Garden-variety abiding in spirit is a straightforward process of being present in the moment. How simple is that? Once in awhile you will experience a show of fireworks, but more commonly you'll experience a peaceful abiding, the absence of strife. And you will notice you're becoming more comfortable with silence. You will feel more and think less. You will sense more intuitively and find a pliability and flexibility in your decision-making. You will worry less and appreciate the small things more. The more you practice turning your mind off and tuning into your environment the less you will be interested in the dramatic narrative of the mind. Spiritual awakening is the letting go of what we thought we had to be and opening to a redefinition of ourselves-a simpler and more attuned self. The only thing complicated about enlightenment is getting our "bloated nothingness" (Rev. Matt Garrigan) out of the way. And that could take some practice, of this I am sure.
Sunday, September 2, 2018
Courage Award-Nina Bingham
Nina Bingham was nominated for the Courage Award in 2016. Hear her story:
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