The example of the butterfly who begins it's journey as a lowly caterpillar is an apt metaphor for the work we all must do to transform ourselves into self-actualized individuals. Take a journey with me into the butterfly's world...
This final step in human development called self-actualization cannot precede the fulfillment of naturally selfish survival desires and drives, as Maslow pointed out. Unless we have a sense of survival, safety and belonging, we haven't the strength to transform ourselves into anything more; we are stuck in an endless wasteland of assuring the ego of its safety. However, the day dawns for many when they've had enough to eat. They realize they are full and can't get any fuller, and their spirit rises up and urges them on, driving them to break free of their safe environment, and to build a den of seclusion about themselves so they may develop into a fully realized individual. In many ways this perceptual shift is like the miraculous metamorphosis of the butterfly. The "I" centered caterpillar spends its days feeding itself and knows to do little else. Instinctively the caterpillar is doing what it needs to do to metamorphose; it is gathering metabolic resources for its journey into the miraculous. One day, as if a circuit is switched on in its brain, the caterpillar begins its life's most important work, that of self-transformation. What it does next is quite striking. It builds around it a sturdy, hard-shelled cocoon to develop in. To the outside observer, the cocoon looks seemingly motionless, while it's really in turmoil. The process of becoming a butterfly is a struggle and lots of hard inner work. But what emerges from the cocoon is a delicate beauty, capable of flight; so delightful that French impressionist composers wrote songs in tribute to it.
I have illustrated this inner transformation using the metaphor of a butterfly when in reality this transformation happens in response to a crisis in our lives. A death, a bankruptcy, a divorce, an illness or another loss leaves us empty-handed, wondering where to turn next. In those desperate moments we come to understand that life is fleeting and fragile, and not as secure as we made it out to be. It is here, in points of crisis, that we can choose to respond the same old way and take the familiar road, or discover, as M. Scott Peck aptly named it, "The Road Less Traveled." Self-actualization is a fluid state where one is liberated from chasing elusive security and the accumulation of "things." Your thoughts are less defined by who you used to be, and more influenced and affected by who you're becoming. Your behaviors will change, sometimes drastically in response to the spiritual, more significant, emerging self. For those in mid-life, it may appear to others as a "mid-life crisis" or transition. For those in their twenties, the turmoil of their lives will recede, and a path out of the confusion will appear before them, a path into the future. These metamorphoses will likely strike at middle-age or in the early twenties, as these are naturally occurring neurological change-points. However we find the door, it is suddenly open to us, and we are changing: our perspectives are improved, we are more confident and our beliefs about ourselves and our world are more compelling.
The hallmark of finding significance is not only to fulfill our unique potential, but having realized what our potentialities are, to find significance in helping others to self-actualize. When you have gone from being a caterpillar to a butterfly you are so elated at being able to fly and be free of the rigid, restrictive cocoon that you automatically want others to know this same freedom. Many self-actualized people have shifted their concentrations from the wants of the ego to the needs of others. Deeply spiritual and self-actualized individuals we have so much respect for have shown us the characteristics of the self-actualized person: a "we" orientation (opposed to the capitalistic maverick), empathy, a focused and tireless approach to their humanitarian efforts and the ability to see the butterfly within every caterpillar. Mother Teresa of Calcutta is an example of a deeply, profoundly self-actualized individual, tirelessly "giving wings" to others less fortunate. We may not feel inspired to affect transformation on the grand scale that Mother Teresa did. Instead, we may touch lives one by one. Whatever methodology we use, the business of transformation belongs to all of us. Once we can say with confidence that we are realizing our full potential, we will be in the privileged position to help others reach theirs. Life is a journey, and the end of the road is not ourselves. The end of the road is seeing us in others.
A butterfly never knows quite where it is going to land. It may be flying in one direction until the wind comes along and hurries it in the opposite direction. This seeming haphazard method of flight is ultra-adaptive. Instead of resisting the wind, it harnesses its power and is propelled along at ever-increasing speed. When we feel the winds of change blowing in our lives, we would be wise to adopt an attitude of flexibility, openness, curiosity, and optimism. A negative attitude in the face of change is self-defeating and will only cause us to struggle against forces which are beyond our control.
A friend recently brought to my attention that finding significance is not always an event that happens suddenly, but rather, a life-long journey. In biopsychosocial human development we certainly see clear stages that a human moves through; from birth to childhood, from childhood to adolescence, from adolescence to adulthood, and from adulthood into old age. But as my friend pointed out, achieving self-actualization is often less clear-cut than that; it is less dramatic and more subtle for some. Some people just "grow into it." This realizing of one's full potential has also been called "wisdom" by the ancients. Wisdom is the meeting of age and insight. As we mature and gain life experience, knowledge, and insight, wisdom should be a naturally occurring product of the well-examined life. As we move from one stage in life to the next, wisdom should be the expected outcome. As we gain insight, however it is gained, whether dramatically or more subtly, flaws in our thinking become obvious to us and behavior patterns of the past don't feel comfortable anymore. We begin to sense the advantages of flight over plodding along, inch by frustrating inch, as if we had blinders on. We begin to thirst for adventure, but not the self-serving kind. Instead, we develop an insatiable thirst for inclusion. We see that while previously we had conceived of ourselves as being apart from others, the real Truth is we are intrinsically linked to the human chain which stretches back eons, and will stretch ahead even after we're gone. We begin to perceive ourselves as part of something bigger; a grand plan, a schema, or just part of the ever-expanding cosmos. When we realize we play a dramatic role in history, a key role, we begin to perceive our intrinsic value. As a result of comprehending our value we will be less apt to denigrate ourselves for weaknesses and shortcomings and inclined toward seeing ourselves in a positive light that is realistic. I mean to say that we will have accepted our natural, inherent "goodness" without having to prove it to anyone. Temperance, equanimity, tolerance and self-control will direct our steps so that we hurt others less, and are more mindful of the impact we are making.
To review, we must simply, naturally allow wisdom to arise if one wishes to find deep, lasting happiness and fulfillment. We must accept change and allow the organic, spiritual process of metamorphosis to burgeon. As we self-actualize we will rise above, or transcend our personal problems, and others will come more clearly into view. As we focus on others instead of only ourselves, we will have the feeling of expansion, experiencing ourselves as an invaluable, intricate part of the vast universe we inhabit. We will be able to say, like the butterfly, that because of much effort and struggle, we are ready to fly.
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